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Aroma from Jersey Shore’s Smush Room leads to Seaside Heights evacuation
After an overwhelmingly hideous smell engulfed the community over the weekend, mayor P. Kenneth Hershey ordered an emergency evacuation of the entire borough of Seaside Heights, New Jersey. All 3,076 residents were forced out of their homes and sent to… [Take More]
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Harry Palm tired of masturbation jokes
38-year-old Harry Palm was seen storming out of a Chili’s in Warchester Tuesday evening after hearing one too many jokes about his name. “He just ran out,” said bartender Lou McGhee. “It was hilarious because after he left, someone at… [Take More]
The Sports Orgy: How college sports understand what sickos really want
The US Census Bureau does not track information on orgies. Maybe Hustler does. To pull one off you need an incredible collection of lenient morals, willing females, wild friends, numerous throw pillows, generous supplies of lube, and David Lee Roth.… [Take More]
The Mustard Theory: Why Thanksgiving Kicks Your Favorite Holiday’s Ass
Children don’t like mustard. Mustard lacks the saccharine sweetness so pleasing to the prepubescent palette. Even though mustard is part of the dichromatic yin and yang of burger toppings, it loses to ketchup every time. Ketchup is simply too powerful.… [Take More]
If Grandma had balls she’d be Grandpa
I was sixteen-years-old when my aunt decided to get married. Because of the happy couple’s passion for social awkwardness and sheer agony they decided on having a karaoke reception, second only to inviting a chronic masturbator to a baptism in… [Take More]